Friday, December 31, 2010

Revenge of the Bathed Dog

Ever notice how when you are trying to be a good parent to either 2 or 4 legged children, it comes back to get you? I noticed it this evening when the boys and I bathed Moe, our puppy that is somewhere between 1 and 2.  Moe is only about 20-25 pounds and reaches mid-calf, so you'd think he was easy to bathe and brush. Yeah, if you say so. He is a Corgie mixed with something long-haired. So Moe has long, baby fine and silky furr. We have to brush him at least once a day because he has curly furr that tangles in everything, but he is the sweetest dog and so cute.

Ok, so we set out to bathe Moe this evening, and lo and behold, he must know it, cuz all of a sudden we are chasing Moe thru the apartment back and forth at least 3 or 4 times. Keep in mind that this apartment is tiny, only about 800 sq feet. Back and Forth... back and forth.... back and forth... "N,(my 12 year old) catch Moe over the back of the couch!" And Moe keeps on a-going.... "K (my 14 year old) catch him in the kitchen!" (This is me shouting to the boys about catching Moe) And Moe is still running like a lunatic. We finally manage to catch Moe in my room and wrestle the little guy into the bathroom and shut the door.... preventing escape you know... 
Moe is laying down and not helping us at all, poor guy, and N gets his collar off, and I lift the whimpering Moe into the tub...ah yes... here comes the fun now! Keep in mind that Moe is predominately black and tan with some white thrown in with lots of long baby fine furr.... yeah... mouthfuls of wet furr are not what I consider tasty. 

So we get the shower going, and poor Moe goes stoic on us with the most pitiful look in his eyes... he wiggles this way and that way and never whimpers or barks while in the tub. He wiggles enough that as I am trying to scrub his side facing away from me that he gets himself flipped over in the tub and flops flat on his side..... yeah... Moe sideflop instead of bellyflop.... you know what that means, don't you.... yeah.... a soaked Jen.... lots of fun.... especially when it is really really freeekin' cold outside and my heat isn't keeping up with the temperature drop. It is currently snow storming outside with the temperature hovering around 0, and the windchill around -20... yes, NEGATIVE 20. So anyway, I am now soaked in the chilly apartment...

We finally get Moe clean and then comes the rinsing.... yeah, we use the showerhead for that. I have one of the ones with the long hose and adjustable showerhead. Guess who gets drenched in the face.... for once it wasn't me... poor N got nominated to hold Moe still and up on his hind legs so we could get all of him washed, so N got drenched but good. N complains that his pants got soaked from the crotch down and he now looks like he peed himself.... lol.... poor kid.... like he won't dry off. Now remember the furr I mentioned? Yeah, it is all over my entire bathtub now... yuck.... clumps of wet black and tan furr everywhere. 

Now on to drying Moe off... can't let him go outside and shake off since I really don't want a Moesicle in -20 weather and snow. So I grab a towel and dry him off as best I can in the tiny bathroom.... yeah.... really working. Moe manages to escape (of course he does), and guess where the VERY FIRST PLACE he goes is???? Yup, you guessed it.... MY BED! And what does a wet dog do? Yup, shakes himself off all over MY bed.... *Sigh* So not only do I have a soaked Jen and N, (K managed to stay dry thru the whole ordeal... how did he manage that?) I now have soggy sheets and comforters and pillows... yeah.... good going Moe... definitely getting me back for being a good parent and bathing you. So I laugh, cuz what else can I do? At least I am inside and not standing outside turning into a Jensicle. 

Now for the fun part... combing all that long furr out. Poor Moe is a wet and tangled mess that is in desperate need of combing. He has long curly and kinky-bent furr that goes everywhere. So now I also have wet furr all over my bedroom floor and on the soggy bed. By now I am thinking I am crazy for doing all this, but I look at Moe, who despite all this is still being a good sport with no whining or barking, and think that he looks so much better all clean and somewhat combed, so despite being crazy, it is worth it. I end up combing 2 big handfuls of wet furr off Moe and the floor (gave up on the bed, just gonna have to change the sheets).

So now to the real payback. Remember that it is snow storming and beyond really cold outside and Moe is soaking wet, so common sense and decency would tell you that he can't go outside without turning into a Moesicle. 

Guess what the little stinker does on my kitchen floor.... yup.... leaves me a nice pile of Moe poo. And of course, the still wet Moe looks at me and gives me that little doggy grin that says "HAHA I got you back" while I have to clean up the mess on my just swept and mopped kitchen floor. *Sigh* Being a good parent is so hard, and it always comes back to get you in some way or another, and boy, Moe sure does get me for doing my good deed of the night.

Ahhh, the adventures of my life, at least this one is amusing. I just have to laugh. I hope you do too.

Now onto the hottie of the post.


  1. ROTFL! You just made me laugh loud enough, my own dog would like to know why I woke her. She doesn't look happy.

    Seriously, this totally cracks me up. And just so you know... I'm laughing with you... not at you... uh.. mostly. ;)

    Now I have to go bribe my dog with a cookie or something, so she will leave me alone and go back to bed. lol, have a good night dear.

  2. LOL! Thanks Amara! Sorry you woke your dog up (ok, not really) =)I hope she goes back to sleep for you.

    Glad I made you laugh with this post. Life over here is amusing at times.

    Have a great night too Sweetie! *hugs*

  3. LOL! You paint a great picture, Jen. :)

  4. You really do paint a fantastic picture. That was hysterical.....thanks for sharing!

    Happy NEW YEAR!!!

  5. Awesome story, Jenn. Go Moe!! LOL...At least he's pretty for the new year. :)

  6. Thanks Monika, Red & Em! Glad you found this hysterical. =)Moe is something, but a good something. It was funny as it happened last night, so I had to share.

    Happy New Year y'all! Stay safe!

  7. that was terribly funny- try doing it with a great her hair is shorter, but she's so much bigger...

  8. LOL! Lee, I think I will pass on bathing the bigger great dane. Moe is enough for me to wash. Glad you found it funny. =)

  9. At least Baby is MUCH easier to bathe, but Reggie did the same thing any number of times...except the shaking on the bed part. I could see it all, and laughed like a loon...

  10. Glad you found this funny... I figured you would picture seeing it as how you know Moe. man that night was something.